“Most people would take some cheese and biscuits or a dessert up to the bedroom – he came with 24 eggs,” said Waddle. I rushed into his room shouting, ‘Evacuate, evacuate, bomb blast, bomb blast!’ Dicksy jumped up and ran naked out of the room into the corridor.” 7 Auf wiedersehen, eggĬhris Waddle played alongside Gascoigne for Newcastle, Tottenham and England, and saw plenty more of his hotel antics whenever they roomed together. “I bought some fireworks and went into his bathroom, lit a big banger and set it off. ![]() The next day, when he was asleep, I got my own back. “He went on and on, and wouldn’t let me go to sleep. “One evening, Julian Dicks tried to get me to sneak into town and go to a pub, but I didn’t feel like it,” Gascoigne recalled in his autobiography. Long before Mario Balotelli caused chaos with indoor fireworks, Gazza was doing the same – while on under-21 duty with England. “Gascoigne was so intimidated by this guy who had been threatening him and marking him all afternoon, that he actually stood where he was until Vinnie came back after taking the throw!” 6 Big bang theory “We got a throw near the penalty box, so he said to Gascoigne, ‘Paul, stay there – I’ve got to go and take this long throw, I’ll be back in a minute.’ “Vinnie literally followed Gazza all over the pitch, but he used to take our long throws,” Lawrie Sanchez told FFT. Newcastle drew 0-0 at Wimbledon in 1988, but a photograph from the match became legendary – after Vinnie Jones grabbed the starlet’s testicles mid-match, in an attempt to put him off his game. “I took him to it, stuck in a fence, with the back wheels nearly touching the front wheels.” 5 Balls to that ![]() “The next day, Mirandinha asked for his car back,” remembered Gazza. Gascoigne also duped him into telling the squad that the English word for Wednesday was ‘Wankday’, then borrowed his car and crashed it into a field. I went to the front of the bus, said exactly those words and everybody burst out laughing.” “It was taking longer than usual for that to happen, so Gazza told me to go to the manager Willie McFaul and say ‘Mr Willie, I’m f**king starving’. “During my first trip with the squad, we were coming back from Norwich and it was normal procedure to stop for fish and chips,” Mirandinha told FFT. Mirandinha was the first Brazilian to play in England when he joined Newcastle in 1987, and quickly became mates with Gazza – as well as the victim of several japes. He kept taking the car back to the garage but they couldn’t find the source until one day, it went for a full valet and they discovered loads of maggots where the fish had been…” 4 “Mr Willie, I’m f**king starving” As the fish rotted, the smell got worse, but Peter didn’t know where it was coming from. “One day, when Gazza was out injured and everybody else was training, he tucked a fish into the underside of the passenger seat. “Jacko was given a brand new sponsored car from a Vauxhall dealership – he was the first player to have a company car,” former defender John Anderson tells FFT. Gazza had established himself in Newcastle’s first team by the time Peter Jackson signed from Bradford in 1986. ![]() His arse ended up looking like the end of a watering can.” 3 Jackson’s drive For each of the pellets I managed to hit him with, I had to pay him £25. Jimmy stood about 20 yards away with his pants pulled down and I fired at his bare arse. “Jimmy’s mates once got a crossbow from somewhere, and Jimmy put an apple on his head while I tried to hit it,” said Gascoigne. The pair remained close throughout Gazza’s playing career – Five Bellies would frequently be the fall guy in various pranks, from his Newcastle days onwards. From an early age, Gascoigne became pals with Jimmy Gardner, nicknamed ‘Five Bellies’ by the midfielder due to his rotund physique.
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